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Dating online guides: Unfortunately, finding love at first sight is rare, and some people might experience a few bad dates before they meet their dream partner. Don’t be disheartened if you’re on a first date and you know the person sat opposite you is not the one. Try to make the most of the experience and learn from it. Just because you are both compatible in some things doesn’t mean you’ll be perfect for each other, and sometimes it’s best to move on to someone new. We all have to kiss a few frogs before we meet our prince or princess and you never know what’s around the corner.
But then—success! Someone “likes” me and asks me out within three messages. He’s into photography and makes his own pasta—and he is an Adonis. We have a short phone call, as Hoffman recommends, to set something up. His voice is velvety, but I’m skeptical. That’s online dating: You meet the freakazoids and think, This is the worst. You find someone great and think, Am I going to be on the next episode of Catfish?
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“When building your profile and looking for potential dates, your mindset should follow what you’d like the outcome to be. Whether you’re looking for a long-term relationship, a hookup, or something in between, let your mind consider the result you wish to achieve so that your profile vocabulary and tone match.” —Sunny Rodgers, ACS, clinical sexologist and certified sexual health educator. “Be entirely yourself rather than projecting a more muted version of yourself. The more that you show your personality, the more the other person gets an idea of what a relationship with you would be like. You might as well jump in immediately!” —Gabrielle Alexa, sex and dating writer.
Look closely for signs of boastfulness, snideness or bitterness. Also, insincerity: the person who claims over and over again to “absolutely love” his or her life just the way it is, to be “completely and totally” satisfied with everything in it. These people claim to have joined said dating site on a lark (“my friend suggested it and I figured why not?”). These behaviors suggest this person might have trouble being honest about his or her vulnerability or true motives. Attention to tone when you read profiles will help you to ferret some of those qualities no one admits to (we often don’t even know we have them, sadly).
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